Dec 31, 2007

my 1st EP!!!! jkjk...

i was testing my mp3 recording, coz just realised i can record wav, woohoo!

so i grab my bro, we sang 珊瑚海 (coral sea), haha... cant believe it sounds so clear... trying to put it on this space..but i oni manage to upload and theres a download link on the left column below windows media player.

i m still looking through if i can find a way to post the recording, so ppl can listen while exploring my space

so at the moment if anyone "desperately" wants to listen to my singing (hahaha....) can try to dl by clicking the link, the one with the label "thingz"..

do give some comments plz haha.. tho it sounds quite funny.. (if anyone did dl it and listen)

 

btw, theng... can listen "男人ktv" in here.. i purposely change my bloggy theme song for u hahaha... feel touch ya

this one is hu yan bin version, i think is betta than justin one... hope everyone enjoy! 

Dec 27, 2007

我成功了!!!!!

情绪好高涨啊!!!!!

 

我终于看到我的成绩了!!!!

 

woooohooooooo!!!!!!!!!

 

91.75!!!!!!!!! 我成功了!!!!!!!

 

从去年的75升到91.75!!!!!!!! 好高兴啊!!!!!!!!

 

无法形容, 有点可惜为什么昨天要掉眼泪, 浪费了, 哈哈哈哈!!!!!!!!

 

感谢上苍保佑!!!!! 感谢祖宗!!!! 感谢老师们!!!! 感谢父母!!!!!!!! 感谢朋友们!!!!!! 感谢全天下的人!!!!!!!!! 谢谢大家!!!!!!

反常


什么情况下让一个人觉得最难过

半生不死.....

就是这种感觉... 宁可让我有目标的, 知道我该伤心, 我会痛哭, 知道我该开心, 我会狂笑, 知道我该生气的, 我会抓狂....

因为我不懂我该有什么情绪... 曾经试过这种感觉, 笑也不是, 哭也不是.... 高兴得不够尽兴, 伤心得不够悲情... 好痛苦....

又或者太多情绪涌上心头, 脑袋一时反应不过来, 反而在该高兴时, 哭了出来, 然后越哭越痛.. f3时拿到PMR成绩就发生了... 想想还蛮好笑..

譬如把很多不同口味但很好喝的饮料参在一起, 出来的味道却怪到难喝...越喝越想吐...

 

我仍然开不到成绩

我仍然没等到工作的消息

 

很难过听着别人成绩多好多好, 自己却看不到自己的, 越想越可怕, 觉得自己越来越没可能...

整个漫长夜晚.. 我不想和人任何人聊天...

没心情继续了...

Dec 26, 2007

nvr feel dat bad...

i nvr feel dat bad b4......!!!!!

cant check my results, wut happen to my acc, wuts my idiot stupid password!!!!!

worst moment eva, as if waiting the time for death sentence... wuts worse than that?! i rather get hanged now!

its suspending......

i m doommed....

 

Dec 24, 2007

平凡的圣诞

圣诞前夕eh... 每个人都怎么渡过呢....

今天送了爸爸机, 在马来西亚一个人渡过圣诞, 多不好的滋味.... 因为自己也试过一个人在空旷的屋子里, 孤单得令人想哭...

每年圣诞都似乎对我来说没什么意义, 我依然在家update我的blog (去年也一样), 听着静茹姐的<崇拜>(很好听!!)...

多无聊的圣诞.... 也许这世上也有不少人和我一样吧, 哈哈... 祝各位无聊人"圣诞节快乐!!!"

其实昨天都算庆祝了, 和今年的朋友们一个圣诞聚会然后交换礼物(secret santa), 拿到了一个很精美的相簿, 谢谢了clarinda!

而angeline终究和jason在一起了! 不是我所预料的结局(希望和angeline终成眷属的是matt), 不过啊, 毕竟不管我事, 呵呵, 也许世事往往都出乎意料, 只要在一起幸福就好了, 在这里祝两人永浴爱河! 昨天看到大家试着撮合他们, 丢他们去一角那一幕真的很好笑, 两个头低低地害羞, 真的很可爱, 哈哈..还有jason亲手为angeline戴项链,呵呵.. 我好想太八卦了....不过的确很可爱的一对恋人..(羡慕啊!)

变得很懒惰继续哈哈..

其实不管圣诞过的精彩不精彩, 有时即使一个人也可以很快乐, 毕竟过节的意义, 除了团聚, 就是要开心的渡过.

即使我的圣诞如此平凡 (又不热闹, 又无聊, 又没下雪, 还38度!, 又没美食, 也没节目, 更没烟花.....)

我还是很喜欢这个圣诞...

 

~祝各位圣诞节快乐:D

 

Dec 17, 2007

高兴的点滴 (要看完啊各位!)


好意犹未尽啊! 刚在网上看完一篇原创微笑pasta续集(不是真的,可是好希望是真的!),实在写得太棒了,无话可说, 超赞!! 真期待微笑pasta有续集, 如果用这篇原创的就更棒了!

真惨, 中毒好深啊, 哈哈... 怪假期太长, 无聊透顶才无意中发现这部巨作! 想看的人可点击这里--->  微笑pasta2 ^_^ 

个人意见: 感觉比微笑1更好看, 哈哈... (我也是因为栋梁才看..呵呵..), 不禁佩服这续集的作者..嘿嘿..

 

pasta部分完毕. 说说昨天的点滴. 昨天是爸妈结婚周年庆, 23年喔! 下午去了shopping.. 没什么值得写, 只不过那时心情不太好, 发生了一点事, 也许是我多心, 不过觉得自己有点过份, 感觉对方似乎有些生气 (跟周年庆无关), 不好在这里叙述, 而且太长篇..没人想看, 哈哈 (这blog本来就很冷清..哈哈) (我以后会试着在blog里写比较有趣的事, 或写得较生动, 不然不更新).

我发觉自己真的好像小孩子, 小小事烦一整天, 过不了多久就忘得一干二净, 哈哈... 其实没有, 只不过过一阵子又从低潮回到开朗的心情 (好容易被影响), 过一阵子开心完了, 又回到烦忧..唉.... 哥常说我不会分轻重, 其实也看我在不在乎而已 (好熟悉的一席话..呵呵)

离题了, 呵呵... 元神归位! 喔, 对! 忘了一个重要的细节! 我推掉了前阵子的工作... 原因.. 是... 心情作祟吧... 突然不是很想做那份工了... 很奇怪突然早上起床, 脑袋想的第一件事就是这个, 然后也很清醒般, 少了那份犹豫心, 作了这个决定... 我不知道是对或错.. 而且后悔也太迟了.. 希望.... 不会错....

种种不如意的事过去了 (应该说只是暂时搁下), 晚上开心的气氛把我拉出这低潮. 别人送来几头鲍鱼, 昨天晚上被我们享用了. 晚餐很丰富, 有小羊排, 炸虾球和鱿鱼, salad(我的作品), 当然少不了鲍鱼, 呵呵... 虽然是自己煮的 (其实是爸妈自己煮, 好不孝人家周年庆还要自己下厨, 哈哈) (我们煮的更加不能吃咯!), 跟一流酒家有的比啊! 毕竟吃到的是一份温暖幸福的晚餐, 呵呵. 送了爸妈一对写着 "happy anniversary" 的酒杯 (香滨的), 两老都很喜欢, 不枉我那天放人飞机 (或被人放, 事情很复杂, 上一篇我有提到) 落得一人shopping的苦心啊! 可恶其他人还没还我钱!

吃饱后, 还没尽兴, 我们又去了ktv! 目的其实为找个地方切蛋糕... 妈说我听到要去ktv眼睛发亮了...不想承认, 可是兴奋起来是有"一点"的..

 

"一点而已?"....

 

什么??!!! 真的啦! 

 

第一次和全家一起唱ktv, 感觉好像溏心风暴里的剧情 (他们也这么庆祝父母结婚周年庆), 哈哈... 又点了不少栋梁的歌, 还是很可恨唱不好他的歌, 遗憾哪! 有唱"北极星的眼泪", 和大家一齐唱, 二哥说一人唱一句 (我, 弟和二哥), 这里要解释下...

我们是这么唱的...

 

像断了线 (哥)

消失人海里面(我)

我的眼(弟)

终于失去(哥)

你的脸(我)

再等一会(弟)

奢望流星会出现(哥)

愿(我) (又没有搞错?!! 一个字!!!) (超级不愤! 接着唱下句)

如果真的实现(弟与我)......

 

很少跟家人玩得那么疯, 哈哈, 在这里先对不起栋梁把你的歌唱烂了, 哈哈.. 到了副歌部分我们都用喊的 (我是因为唱不上去..不是有意的). 很开心! 虽然不是很过瘾 (虽然整夜霸着麦克风), 才一个钟啊! 算了, 因为真的玩得很高兴, 哈哈!

 

好长喔这篇blog! 突然兴致来了就狂发挥, 呵呵! 希望大家别嫌我罗嗦喔!

Dec 14, 2007

改变... 不如预料的...

试工通过了, 我都说我做得到...可是怎么却不是很想做那份工,发觉自己很感情用事, 做工全看心情, 很不好..怎么变...唉...越来越不喜欢自己,麻烦透顶的自己...

原来要找一份合适的工作好不容易啊, 昨天之前决定要打工因为要回马看栋梁演唱会, 昨天之后惊觉原来演唱会在三月,完了! 怎么回, 看来梦想破灭了.... 这么靠近, 却那么遥远... 那我为什么要延迟开学到七月... 也许以后有机会..我也不明白为何这么坚持非看不可, 中毒了哈哈... 不想那样啊..

其实有想过既然如此不如明年年尾再回, 那打工的事可以慢慢从长计议, 有没有人可以介绍一份工给我啊!

婷... 你不会怪我吧... 年尾你一定有空吧.. 我们旅行的事还存在! 也许延迟而已, 不要生气啊, 而且年尾也比较好安排, 多一点人嘛, 多多好处...

其实不确定, 所以再打算...

Dec 13, 2007

dec 13

i dunno how to describe today...

morning, gd news, sean pass driving test finally, second attempt this time, seems none of my business, but very indirectly affected wut happen to me today. woke up at 6 to accompany my dad and sean for the driving test, then went back home by emm, 9, my lil bro already went school and he took my mobile. mobile... becoz of my mobile!!! suppose to go carousel wif frens today, becoz of the mobile! i cant find them... end up shopping alone.... T.T

hungry jacks havent gimme any call abt the job, so i kinda put very little expectation to it, during the shopping i saw quite number of stores needs workers, still doubting whther i shud ask abt it. i dunno wut happen suddenly got the courage, saw one store in food court need waitress, so i went up to ask, the tauke ask me to come tomolo for trials. hell happy dat time!! i thought i had made a great effort! start feeling proud of myself hahaha!

back home told my family abt it, everyone was doubting me.... confidence i had just now drop from 10 to 0... T.T...ahhhhh.... did i made a wrong decision??!!! is the job dat bad??!! rather do hungry jacks?!! i admit i m very easily influenced, cant imagine i was cheering in the afternoon, end up sighing now.... haih.... thought u guys shud support me, i m discouraged..... haih 

btw, feel very sorry for angeline for worrying me... millions of appologies.. i didnt know my bro took my phone so i cant contact u, didnt mean to not reply u, very very sorry...   

Dec 12, 2007

dec 11 post

i m here! i dunno how did i managed to pass my life for the past few days, but i did it! (sacasticly.. haha)

life as usual, i slowly realised life is seriously meaningless.... hmm basically i m sorta isolated, staying at home everyday... i m not dat kind of person dat always take the initiative to call out others.. to gather around, or throw a party.. usually the one being asked to join, kinda sorry for those that did so much but at the end mess up (not refering to anyone), so i m very scared to make the 1st move.. probably same thing during confession haha.. but always.. thers one person that will raise the party to peak... (i think i gone too far)

i applied for job in hungry jacks, dont really know shud i work there... shud change my attitude, less doubt! quit being blurry! had enuf! (and quit talking to urself!) hahaha... still waiting for them to call at the moment... whether i will i get in or not... let the god decide.. haha

i just checked the cost of air tickets, perth to singapore return one oni $410aud!!! by next yr may... omg so cheap!! just gotta earn money! problem is singapore to malaysia... not tiger air mayb a bit more expensive.. anyway still long (hope the tickets not sold out).

possibly, if coincide wif nic concerts.... ahh my dream, really hope dat happens.. hahaha..

now just gotta work! gambateh!  

Dec 2, 2007

hair tragedy...


时常在perth会看到一个现象,抱歉我不是指灵异现象,与其说是现象,其实比较像是asians的习俗了,尤其是男人(穷的),虽然并不是每个asian都那样... 对,我指的是飘洋过海到这里的朋友们...

会看到那些人一开始头发留得帅帅的,假设是年头来这里,那年尾再看就看到一头又长又乱的头发.... 不奇怪,这里剪头发很贵,去发型屋剪个头都要20左右,干脆不剪,回去祖国才剪,第二年回来又看到一头帅气的发型....

我也曾经留了一头长到一半背的秀发,直到去年我去剪了,因为太难洗头,过后再剪,变成boyhair,因为打着chemo不剪不能,chemo也令到我大半的头发脱了,之后留长一阵子...就在今年头吧..我又剪,为了让头发看来平均,那时我几乎哭了出来,剪得我看来太幼稚,不用紧...那时我是被一位从马六甲来的大婶剪,在她家自己开的小小发型屋,过后也认命所以之后决定不再 “帮儭”她了....

我很庆幸在我就快发疯前可以写了这么多,现在进入主题...对..我现在真的要发疯了!!!!

刚才又去剪头发了,妈说头发修修一下,有点不平均,所以! 我去剪了,这次是朋友妈妈介绍的,也是在家经营,被一个二十岁左右的女人剪,还没剪前真的觉得很不安,毕竟不是第一次头发被剪坏,妈说放心... 结果...

 

头发短了,整体来说是超级糟糕!!!!我真的真的没脸去见人了!!!啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!不知道怎么说总之是非常烂!!! 大婶!我承认您剪得算很不错了...好后悔为什么要去剪头发啊!我发誓从此以后不再perth剪了!管他平均不平均我都不会在这里剪!!awwwwww.....好想哭.....Crying

Dec 1, 2007

random update

finally... i handed in the application form... and yes, i picked computer science... although i still applied for vet, anyways is hopeless... tend to think a lot these days, no results, i wish i had not make a wrong decision.. dats all i cud do now..

finish uni problems! now waiting for results... and L, and job...

job... so others ask me to work in hungry jacks as well, another fuss, not dat i don wanna work there, since the last "job experience" i had somehow scared the same thing wud happen, i don wanna undergo the same process of resignation coz i knew i wud not work long in there..(mayb).. then where shud i be working.. sigh i have no idea.. so don ask me to apply it just in case.. better think a little longer.. continue this kind of holiday i might rot soon... ahhh is progressing... wut can i say, I M STUCK IN PERTH!!!!

Nov 28, 2007

勇气吗......

反反复复试着打开这窗户,却一直 “cannot find this server” 心慌焦急,不是因为开不到这窗户,因为后天就截止了...大学报名表科目选项的一格仍然空白一篇,说好要读电脑,实际上我真的很害怕,怎么说我也是个电脑白痴,直到来了perth才略懂一二,也不知道为什么比较感兴趣的剩这一科。说好不要害怕,大学根本是个学习的地方,为何终是感到很不安,很不喜欢这种滋味...我知道我是个天生的胆小鬼,向来什么都怕一场,真的迟迟踏不出这一步,突然很害怕上大学,更害怕上不了大学,害怕自己做错了决定,真的很没用.... 不爱问人,我怕糗,虽然努力试着去改变,可是拿不出勇气,也许我欠的就是这份勇气....

现在怎么办,是否应该不顾一切选了再打算,esther我也有想过读biomed,然而我真的下不了决定,叫一个像我这般没主意的人做决定简直要了我的命....其实也不是那样,如果我真的没主意大可拿别人意见随意报名算了,毕竟这是我人生目前为止最重要的决定,不可敷衍!所以才那么多顾虑。烦了我一整个礼拜,我以为可以很早就搞定,却拖到现在.... 彩蕙啊!你要提起勇气呀!

似乎还是只看到缩在一角颤抖着的自己.... 庆幸现在心情比较平复,我要吹吹风了...明天之前,我希望我已决定....

Nov 27, 2007

decision.. crucial

i dunno if its the right choice to pick computer science, i dunno anything else i cud study, as if picking my couse blindfolded now, so scared i will make wrong decision...hand trembling... wut to do, ahh, god..plz guide me to the best path... i m so scared...time running out too..

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................................

 

boom!

 

how easy a person to get crazy... and i m nearly there...haih...

 

i was thinking for whole day today, still cant make up my mind... plus sean say i m not capable.. then wut... wut else can i do, i know i m a noob, ahh super noobie! i know nothing abt computer and yet i dunno y i pick computer (i havent actually pick), but seriously wut else i can do... miserable being a human.... worry for this and that... mayb dad was right, cant compare, every career has its own gd, being best of the one is gd enuf, yet sean words drag my determination away, shud i still pick computer science...

Nov 26, 2007

我的未来

i think almost 2 weeks already, i still did nth! not getting a job, not applying for uni... day dreaming... day after day.... 

since last time when i got fired till now, i still kinda scared of getting a job, mayb is hillarious for others.... y wud u feel dat way, is just a job, and not even a gd job, for me is rather a bad experience, a job last no longer than 2 month, haih... mayb somewhere deep in my mind have save the sudden terror moment of me getting fired, hurting everytime when think of it... needa gather more courage, born to be a coward, haih, dats y i don like myself..

好换一换中文... 这几天也只追电视剧看而已,无聊吧..溏心风暴看到一半,跟我坏掉,tmd!让我生活上唯一仅有的依靠....没了!!!多掺,又看不到结局,我该怎么活下去,长叹......~

会突然很想回马来西亚,跟死党们一起k歌,谈天说地, 从早到晚,又好想去旅行,其实有想过,这次如果回去,一定走遍大江南北,吃遍每一处的美食,顾不了体重了,哈哈,可惜啊...不过下次!我一定要玩个痛快!haha!

再说吧!

 

 

  

Nov 22, 2007

happy bday to U!

just to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRAPPY CURVY!!!!!Birthday cakeGift with a bow officially one yrs old now

i will keep blogging don worry, so u nvr die so soon, hahaha!

Nov 21, 2007

~make a wish, make a wish~

i think i shud update, such an important event, how can i not blog abt it, but seriously lazy to blog, haha

another bday ova, i remember my very 1st post in this space was my 16th bday, and now my 17th bday, time just pass so fast, one yr ova, cant believe i made it dat far, haha i think i said that for thousands times already... is just memorable, so many things, being sick, coming to perth, repeat a yr, everything which i nvr eva thought of it will happen, and it does happened, things dat i think i cant do it b4, and now i have done it, simply amazing, can spend a day day dream abt it, and nvr feel bored, haha..

k back to bday.. i nvr wish how my bday will be extraordinary, well i nvr wanna put very much effort to celebrate my bday, coz... i dunno how to do it.. haha... c how lazy m i... haha, so i don expect much, probably just a dinner wif family or a hangout wif frens to sing ktv is gd enuf, i really think so!! this yr is just like dat, din done much, a dinner wif family, got presents, and few days b4 did went to ktv, hahaha, c i m satisfied... during the dinner, dad told the tauke is my bday (gosh y wud he did dat dat time!), then the tauke put on bday song in the restaurant, lucky not much ppl in the restaurant dat time... then an angmo form the next table come to me and wish my happy bday, seriously dunno how to react dat time, feel so dumb just standing there... anyways, overall although not really memorable, still i m happy, gd enuf.. hehe.. btw glad that ppl remember my bday, and thanks for all the wishes!Open-mouthed especially ss who count down wif me, u make my bday special!! and oso others lo, not mentioning here doesnt mean "anything", i appreciate all of them!!!

 

i think this is rather brief compare to my "sweet 16" post haha, getting lazy, plus really nth much to say abt, hmm.. yea i do make few wishes, i think everyone know wut my wish is hahahaha, dats right! nic teo! hehe, wish dat one day i can come to ur concert! plz realise it hahaha... i really hope so... btw, wish my dear idol happy bday by 29th nov! thanks for ur music!!

 

these few days have been thinking wut i shud apply in uni... headache, vet is hopeless, and dunno abt the rest, wut shud i study seriously, haih... i don expect too high now, problem is i really dunno wut i m gd wif, i m pretty useless actually... haih...haih... i dunno la!!!!       

Nov 16, 2007

失眠的杰作


开开关关的都不知道要写什么

好像有什么要写却又突然忘了想写什么

要不然就缺了那份感觉

所以很无聊的决定乱写一通!

只因突然失眠了.... 真是天大的笑话,彩蕙竟然失眠.... 看来平时睡太多了吧...哈哈

试考完了,当我终于放下最沉重的包袱时,就很空虚的那种感觉,像是以往很辛苦去走的一段路,不知不觉般到了尽头,本应该很高兴已经到了终点,却发觉自己已经无路可走,在终点发愣..

“就让我们的爱情走到了陌路,在一起没有幸福,我很迷糊....”

哈哈,如果婷看到了一定说: “又是栋梁..”

不给啊?哈哈 ...

可惜我看都没看过他,你好啊你看演唱会也没我份,tmd!好羡慕啊...唉....

看! 弄到我失眠更严重了!

怎么办,词穷了,又睡不下... 惨了...要一整晚发霉...

豁出去了!我要写到我可以睡着为至..

反正也是时候,好像我都很少说关于我自己..多数都是在说废话哈哈.... 来发挥一下我写作的天份...

本人今年十七,中学毕业至今有三个多礼拜,失业,尚未报读大学,人生没目标,此时脑中再次传来栋梁美妙的歌声...“我已走到了陌路....真的很迷糊....”

还有什么想懂? 我未婚,没爱情经验,哈哈...虽然不渴望却很好奇... 其实比较希望别人拍拖多过自己,因为可以八卦哈哈...

个性呢...自己认为很懒懒的,傻傻的,非常多愁善感,也很害怕和人沟通,有点孤僻,很在意别人怎么看我,因为很担心自己会伤害别人,所以有时很少说话,怕说错什么,哈哈,我家人是时常说我讲话没经过大脑,不过和朋友们聊天的时候就管不了那么多,大家都蛮叽喳的哈哈...

最大的兴趣是唱歌,虽然不会说很好听,低音比较高难度,高音也不是很好,最遗憾是唱不到栋梁的歌,太难了哈哈,不过仍再努力中,只有在唱歌方面才有这份斗志哈哈

emmm...想不到了,有点累却不想睡,算了,我去数绵羊,bye..

Nov 13, 2007

when it slowly comes to an end..

finally finish my exams! nightmare all ova (emm actually it havent begins haha)... making through my last effort yesterday, cram cram cram... drank a 600ml ice coffee till stomach hurtz, went "jamban" for more thousands times, thought i woud die dat time, and wuts worse... the light in toilet suddenly went off! emm.. sumthing must be added to make it clear, i m in the library dat time, and dat day i dunno wut happen some of the light bulb in toilet were taken off, it was already quite dark in the toilet, and wut the hell the light went off.. i nearly scream dat time, try to keep my mind calm when i m half way through my "project", quickly finish off, but its totally dark i cant even c a thing seriously... and my stupid mind keep on popping up wif some gruesome image of the kid from grudge suddenly appear in front of me and start strangling me... 

later... phew lucky the light went on again, but my stomach still hurtz...

since yesterday i swear i wudnt drink "chill" 's coffee, no i wont drink coffee anymore! hundreds cups of tea is betta than dat seriously! (but still cant resist latte) 

bio exams generally betta than mocks one but i still cant finish, haih, quit talking abt exams... now finally , officially finish my "repeated yr 12"...

so much had happen this yr, cant believe i went through everything... as if fate dat i skip a yr after pts, then i gain the yr back at the end...

wut if i repeated his yr and still cant get gd results, though i dint exoect too high, i just wan at least betta than last yr (actually i expect a lot betta than last yr haha), if i really fail to do dat, i ask myself would i regret for choosing to repeat this yr....

i might cry, but i will nvr regret, eventhough actually i dint had much this yr, but is defintely a gd yr, worthwhile for me to spend a yr getting nth i wanted initially, but i gain wut i had not expected, not very much, but i kinda miss it, the chance of knowing these ppl....

happy... statisfy... is gd enuf, nvr know being back to the yr u belong to was such a happy thing, when i slowly forgotten how old m i now haha..

 

anyway this dosent means i m not happy wif ppl older than me (opps), haha dunno if ss feel the same, forgotten how old r u now

...18 right?... no la we only 17.... cant enter casino yet

oh! just remember i m still 16, next monday only 17, so fast another yr.... 

Nov 11, 2007

fattening summer

Angryarghh really cant stand this weather, freaking hot!!!!! since yesterday, sudden change in weather, this is really hotter than malaysia and yet dry... cant sweat at all, so hell hot hot and cant cool down.... but if i wanna choose i prefer the weather here, eventhough is hot, but i cant stand the sweatty condition, anyway neither are gd

the most evil item in summer, tempting me, ice-cream!! ate one yesterday and now eat another one, looks like gonna gain weight again, but is so irresistable... yum ice cream...especially mint choc and choc chips..! awwww....

"no, u r super fat now celine, when everyone else losing their weight and u gain weight, no, leave the ice ceam alone..."

 

it seems the weather burns my brain, talking to myself again...

Nov 9, 2007

update

start bloggin again! little bit of update..

one more exam then TEE is ova!!! bio, swt, i havent start studying, shit feel so slack now, haih.. wut a person m i, slack b4 my so important exams..disgrace..

finish calculus, ppl were asking:" how did u do?"

then i said:" i miss two questions"

  "oh, dat was alrite."

  "one of them worth 14 marks, and the other one is 16 marks, and i left it blank..."

  "......"

 

ahhh !!!! wanna kill myself la!!! only if i have more time!! ahh, y m i so slow!!!

 

i m seriously discouraged.. future turns dark.. no idea wut should and wut could i do...

Nov 4, 2007

no more natto..

finally know wut is natto taste like...i wudnt say it taste like shit, but really dont get y the japanese like this kind of food... is emm.. taste really.. like it is expired for quite long... jeff say natto is fermented soy bean...   huh, really?!  ...no wonder taste a bit alcohol like, anaerobic respiration of autotrophics.. emmm, kinda biology feel hahaha..

but wait... so i m eating fermented food, ahh, got bacteria!!

anyway, dats the best part of natto, the essence! heard is gd for health... nth bad... except the taste...

look at the bottom of the label... used before oct 2008...?? can an expired food expire?Sarcastic

don really wanna eat dat again.. but i still have 3 packets...swt =.="

 

k, distracted.. gotta study now! TEE started, aiihh, screw up my chem already, god, i feel discouraged... 

Oct 22, 2007

graduating!

havent been here for ages..

 

impress, surprise, so shockingly dat time pass so so so so fast! unbelieveable! 仿佛还是昨天 可是昨天已非常遥远...

this thursday, graduation, the 2nd highschool graduation i attended haha, hem hem not sumthing to be proud of, but wah! i cant believe i have came dat far, just few last steps away, but the most difficult days eva, coming so soon...

emm, speaking frankly i don really miss de school.... actually i wanna get outta here as soon as possible.. same thing i said last yr and yet i still stuck here, well dat wont happen again!!!  

 

after TEE, holiday... guess not goin back to malaysia this yr, cries~ can oni watch others flying... ahhhh.. haih.... emotion got dragged down, no mood to continue now, haha.. lame excuse to escape from blogging, i have become a lazy bloggers now, k den tata...

Oct 5, 2007

~~~~~咒怨~~~~

考完试了! 终于可以安宁的享受我的晚年.....haha

放假也很闷..... 不知道要做什么... 又不想读书, 虽然TEE快来了(给我喘口气吧至少!) 加上没朋友,ahhhh.... 要哭了....

两个星期以后perth 会多个头条:“发现女尸一具,死因疑为-闷得发慌,困死屋中”

.........

正在发霉~~

Sep 7, 2007

bye bye, my lovely bloggy........

what a bad day....

school stuffs.. which i don wanna talk abt now , dats really depressing....

back home, i call my manager telling her i need to take a two months break so i can be more concentrate on my exams coming up..

i know is very ridiculous to take a two months break, but i cant afford to risk my studies (seriously !!)....

she got pissed after hearing dat.... i was gonna discuss more abt it with her... tel her the reason y i need two months..

 

i remember the last sentence i heard :"dats it! don worry abt coming back here"

 

i dunno y.... i said sorry and i quickly hang up the phone (too scared haha).... sat on my seat stunt for 5 minutes.... went totally blank....

then i cried... which i really don get y

i thought i always wanted to get sacked, and i told others i really don like iga (the stupid iga! haha) now i got fired.... but i cried.... 

afterall, if i can get gd results in TEE, is worthwhile to get sacked ! haha, well then.... jia you! celine!

 

ps: from now on, suspend my blog for two months, i needa study study study!

      

        ................

 

      WuT!!  I m sERioUS Ey!  i will do it, just watch!

Sep 3, 2007

8 LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS/HABITS ABOUT ME

THE RULES


We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


8 LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS/HABITS ABOUT ME 

1. the reason y i like singing (anyone know....?) , story goes like this:

little dat time, because i don dare to shower by myself (but i have to), dats when i start to use singing to boost up my courage whenever i m alone.. then slowly develop my obsession to singing haha..

 

2. my bad habit : i bite myself whenever i m depress (trying to quit dat now)

 

3. i like guys dat can sing or play instruments... (special requirement of my dream guy haha...unfortunately still haven met one, sigh)

 

4. no matter how much works i havent done... i still go to sleep

 

5. this is a fact! laugh too much is not gd for health! so stay cool! (those who dunno y, check out my very old post "lifes being a cancer patient part 1 and 2")

 

6. i prefer to c ppl around me having a relationship with someonelse than i actually experience it myself (so i can gossip abt it haha) 

 

7. ppl thought i m lying when i m telling the truth, but believe wut i said when i m lying..(sigh)

 

8. last but not least.... i always blog, becoz i like crapping haha.... thx anyone for reading this!

 

tagged by siao wah

problem here.... i can oni tag 1 person instead of 8 (not enough blogs to tag Crying)

ESTHER! if u c this remember to blog ya!

Sep 1, 2007

economics dinner, unforgettable moments and memories

因为dl了这个华文输入software, 爱上了打华文, 不过也只能用那三十天,过后再打英文吧,可是华文也很难type...

昨天晚上的ecnomics dinner, 是我一辈子都不会忘记的经验,如果说太enjoy就没有啦,可是可以感觉到我们这个year的人都很棒...

怎么说.... 那个气氛很温暖, 比起去年, 今年的人比较....emmm.....合群一点, 比较给人一种亲切的感觉,很喜欢这个yr(并不代表我在唾弃去年的人, 只是generally speaking 啦)

这种场面其实我还是第一次经历(知道我多孤僻了吧,哈哈哈!)真的很棒,也算是进一步了解和接近这堆人吧...

晚餐方面实在是贵!还好还满值得, 太大盘了, 每个人都吃不完....糟糕的是我只带了三十块,看菜单时才知道我有多狼狈,还好三十块还可以点到一餐,本来只带二十,到时只能去洗碗了哈哈!(却被zhida笑了一大场,tmd)

晚餐后, 聊天lo,拍了很多照,不过都不在我这里,我没带相机....

然后,给老师礼物,隔壁班送了一套内衣裤给他们的老师,真的很有创意喔哈哈,而且是candybra, 用糖果串成的内衣,可以吃的eh!zd!

后来就是围着老师们的桌子聊天,一大群人,别桌的人看到都傻眼,我也傻傻地在一旁凑热闹而已... 突然mr bani 叫我,让我更傻了...

 

bani:  celine!

me : huh?

bani: i have been teaching u for two years and i haven take a single photo with u, come over here!

me: errrrr.... (suddenly dunno wut to do)

 

几十对眼睛盯着我看,我也不懂我干嘛犹豫,怪怪的 ,过后也走向前照了一张,不过不在我这里,改天才跟tricia讨吧...

虽然当时没对bani说什么,其实我很想谢他,嘴巴就是说不出话来,可是真的很感激他! 

 

有时候虽然会觉得自己很孤单,很介意,所以不断努力去接近别人,其实细心想一想,我算是很幸福了,能和这一班人一起,真的能感受那温暖的气息,一辈子也不会忘记!

Aug 30, 2007

不再错了再错

这是我第一篇用华文写的blog....

发生什么事.... 我也不想说了, 虽然我悲伤时会咬手, 不代表我在自残啦, 也别担心我会自杀, 我还不至于那么“勇敢”...

只是暂时不知怎么发泄那情绪, 所以才咬手.... 因为嘴巴就是想要咬一点东西, 我又不想咬书本, 想乱抛什么东西也没有, 因为我手上只有hp, 总不能抛它吧..

改次不会这样啦, 我不想再让自己错了再错

心情现在平复了一点... 我也不会想太多了...

 

可能有些人不懂我再说什么, 其实问题一点也不大, 我也不懂我为什么这么激动, 也看我在不在乎而已啦.....

我承认我是很情绪化, 很容易流泪, 可是好在我也很容易忘了不开心的事....

Aug 26, 2007

无聊篇, 看了别打我呵。。

don have the passion to study....

on9 for 2 hours, all i did is reading blogs, wut de hell m i doin?! test, exams coming up, homework, assignment due soon, and look wut the hell m i doin?! ahhhhhh!!!! hate it y i cant concentrate, y i get distracted? arghhhh, hate "u"!!!!!!!

 

我可以打华文了!!! 好好玩啊, 哈哈哈哈哈!

anyway, 现在真的不得空玩了, 再不赶功课的话, 我真的是完了!哈哈哈哈!(很有押韵eh)

Aug 18, 2007

NS

typing in ic no. carefully....

hope dat i can kena but oso scared dat i will kena

and de result is...

 

 

 

"no. kp anda tidak terdapat dalam senarai yang dipilih"

 

 

 

 

 

kinda disappoint, but relieve....

until now i m stil not in de list, if i really did kena, my dad oso wont allow...

sigh...

 

PS: put the website here for those who wanna check.. click this--> dead me! 

gd luck for all...

Aug 11, 2007

another long day, another long post, soreee hehe

august....

y so many ppl born in august...

haha, "the someone" bday also coming soon....

thx theng for the idea, i m writing this blog now abt today's outing, hahaha, but i oso wanna write abt it anyway

and btw, thx theng for not hating me, u r the 1st feedback i get, woohoo!!

 

hmmm, so how do i begin...

one of my frens in school having birthday outing today, so lucky i got invited, haha

morning, i nearly miss de bus, coz i m too mi mo, i have to admit, haha.

then i taking bus alone to city, she say meet at 'arirang', but i haven been there b4, well no point, try to figure the way to myself..

well i reached there, trying to find the way but i bump into wrong place, then i go back again, and finally!!!!

i found arirang!

i m hell happy! i did it ! all by myself! yesh!

but when i peep in the restaurant, cant c anyone, mayb upstairs i guess..

so i call angeline (angeline is the bday gal)....

..where r u? i m at arirang..... ah ehh we r at timezone now.... wut?!!!

NOTE: i m wearing high heels, coz my sport shoe is wet...

swt, so no point la, i walk to timezone which is 1000km away (jkjk)

finally, in timezone, oh spot someone! found others! anyway not angry la, cant angry at bday gal, haha, plus i still owe her a present (opps)

guess wut... they say they r heading to arirang.........

..........

my feet ah!  

goin back to arirang again, and the guys came as well (i din know guys r here), sums up... i think 20 people.. (5 gals, the rest guys)

k la, don care, eat eat more important

finally can sit and rest haha... the eating part i think i wud just skip, mayb talk a bit abt it..

arirang ya, korean bbq, so we r eating korean bbq obviously! quite nice but oso quite expensive, but i din pay, haha, the guys dats paying this time, for angeline and the rest (gurls). btw get to listen matt speaking korean haha..

after that went to icey ice, i must say, this is so so so so nice!!!

icey ice, sounds like icecream shop, indeed, it is something like dis, actually more like ice kacang, but not as simple as ice kacang! it is snowy, looks like emmm, "ice floss", i dunno malaysia have or not, but is really nice! my 1st time trying, got many flavours and i pick chocolate with nuts and almond, others order this call "twin icey tower" with two kind of toppings, mango and strawberry, and another jambo size of my one, wahaha, but is really really delicious!

finish lunch and desert, ppl all split up, most guys went dota, zhida and matt staying with the gals, and we went harbour town

NOTE: harbour town is a not exactly a town, haha, it is a shopping place, all the branded stuffs, converse, nike... their factory outlet all in harbour town..

tricia said she wans to buy jackets, we took train from city, and abt 5 minutes walk after train. we split up during the walk, left angeline with matt alone, the rest ciao taking the so called "short cut", haha... actually i did dat on purpose, hmmm, ever since the 1st day seeing these two ppl, i already have a feeling they shud be together, but dunno they got bf or gf or not in the 1st place, haha, i dunno y eh, wud be very happy seeing them two actually couple, just how much i hope dong liang can go out with xin ling in real life haha...

skip the shopping part la

goin back home dat time is kinda miserable, emm, the story too long.... and once again, i think i said sumthing wrong, dunno if she heard it... aikss din mean too.... haih.....

k la, dats all for the outings, overall is quite happy, just the last part dat turn out to be like "dat"... 

Aug 10, 2007

struggle for existance

actually...

i have been refreshing this page again and again

i open and close the window again and again

i feels like i wanna write sumthing

but then i went blank again and again

my life's been boring, nvr change, is nver worth writting, not a single post in my blog dat is interesting

seriously haha, coz dats my life haha

fortunately i m free today, so i decided to on9

is been busy these few days

work plus school, i still havent get used to it...

but at the same time unfortunately today, when i start chatting to anyone, then the convo got suspended

haih, my connection problem..? or i just got ignored...?

hmmm, i think i wud rather believe the former one... 

so i decided to blog...

but i find nth betta to say... haha sorry la theng, thx for reading my boring blog!

so tomolo goin out with frens in aus, celebrate her 17th bday, and i havent got any presents, haha

guilty la...

i don think she will read this thing, so den can blog abt her haha...

this gal here, one of my closest fren in my yr...

anyway, sometimes still find gaps while talking to her, not just her, actually most ppl in here (school)

anyone find me quite mean in school? haha.. wut can i say... dats not me

is been quite a while, is not easy for ppl like me to join in a group...

i tried, think of anything i cud say, i wud say, but apparently it dosent work, haha..

or mayb shud i be isolated from everyone, completely? so rather saves the brainstorming for ideas to talk...

hmmm, but i know i cant..

i realise, i m scared being alone by myself, but yet i have difficulties to join in a group...

haih, so wut shud i say.... so sometimes i wonder did others hate me, dats y they wud rather ignore me..

"if others hate me, dat just makes me hate myself even more "

i guess i think too much, haha

and i oso outta topic haha

anyway dats all my problem, or mayb just wait till someday, things might get betta

i m waitin for dat day


let me know if u hate me ok? haha, oso let me know if u dont... thx lo..

 

PS: i know this is kinda stupid, i just wan to know who else is reading my blog, just leave a comment if u wud, i don mind if dont, just curious haha, even random ppl oso can.. nice to meet anyone  Smile

 

Aug 6, 2007

home...?

dad flew back to malaysia....

once again in de airport.... perth airport... seeing others departing and arriving.. kinda use to it now.... anyway, again not me dat is flying.. hmm wait till some day la!

suddenly tot of a scene dat i not willing to see it happens... this time i have more urge of going back malaysia, hmm becoz of wut i don really know, just feels like it (haha i always dunno y).. then this sudden thought dat strikes me, makes me afraid... no.... haih, is actually gradually becoming a fact now...

nowadays, less and less contact with malaysia ppl, as if, slowly gets forgotten... i dunno how others thinking... i don really mind, i mean is normal right.. now everyone living in different environment, once the very gd fren may become strangers one day...

nah, i do mind, haha... i m speaking in how i feel, i don wish dis offence anyone, not dat i m ditching my malaysia mates, or i m being ditched (i don think dis will happen rite? haha) ... just very obvious rite? last time living in malaysia, studying, at least i still have school mates.. after i left the school, the not so close become strangers, the quite close become not so close, and the very close ones.... still very close.. haha.. just dats it...! get wut i meant, get wut i m worrying abt...?

straight forward way of saying it! is dat now frens in malaysia getting less and less, and besides dat... wut is the reason goin back now? do i still wish to go back for long..? do i still think malaysia is my 'home' right now? do i still have something dat worthwhile for me to call

malaysia my 'home'...

hmmm know wut i have been trying to say? i know some ppl will say:" hey i still remember u la; u still got me mah.. haha"

i know, even though not much, i still have frens in malaysia, my very best mates.. haha, but wut i meant is generally.. besides dat, nth in malaysia dat i belongs to..... my family is here, i m studying here, and of coz i don wish to work at malaysia in future, dats y! goin back to malaysia is just like goin on holiday! as if not my 'home' anymore!

 

.......... yea, dats wut i m afraid....

Aug 3, 2007

recently..

i blog more frequently nowadays, not dat i have more interesting stories to tell... just a habit now.. so others might see a lot of craps in here haha..

 

my job, now kinda get use to it haha, so i have to taken back wut i said in the 2nd last post.. overall is ok.. got a bit of troubles sometimes.. embarrasing moments.. haha, but is fine... staffs there r gd, especially ryan, haha he is a funny guy, i really enjoy working with this kind of person, humour and talkative plus helpful, not just working,  i likes to be with person with this type of personality, nvr get bored.. plus i hardly talks, really hope someone did all the talkings and i just listen haha.. yea, and ryan is my "shi fu" (trainer) as well, he really gd, nvr mad at me when i make mistakes (even though no one did haha), and seriously i am very "troublesome" .. haih working aint dat easy ah... haha anyway thx ryan for dat patient.. plus my other shi fu- esther, rajan, chris..

something bad abt the job, time not flexible, and i wan to change the roster, but wut the hell with the ppl there in charge, i have no idea how to get ppl to change it for me.. last tues oso like this, haih..

 

emm.. wut else to say.... not very interesting stuffs, school.... as usual.. not getting any betta, but sorta worsen, no mood to discuss abt dat... hehe, is already enough hurt from studies, i wan to change my attittude.. but just ... haih, don wanna talk abt it.. seriously..  

   

Jul 30, 2007

who the hell m i ?

actually i aint as strong as wut i looks like, not anymore... i cant do anything, i m living in my self-centered world isolated from others, i totally noob, complete idiot, i know nth abt abt myself, i know nth abt wut i shud i do, i know nth abt wut i want, i have no goal, no aim, no hope...

i m useless...

y m i crying so much recently...? i m watching my future collapsing in front of me... yet i dunno wut to do... ran away? or stay?

time..... i hate y time pass so fast...... i don wanna grow up... i m scared.... i cant do it myself... i dunno wut i m suppose to do... aim high? study hard..? be a professional..? is dat wut u think i m thinking abt..? as if u know me more than i do.. is true, i really dunno who m i....

 

i m saying the truth... deppest down in my heart... i aint the person wut others tot i m, i m just acting, seriously...

behind everyone else.. i m just a coward, i cant help crying when i m alone, i m weak, but i m pretending.. as if i m confident with myself.. but i m not.. i hardly ask help from others, no matter how hard i m struggling, i nvr wan to ask anyone, i scared to show dat i m weak, i scared after i did asked ppl would just ignore me, i scared if i ask something i have no right to ask... i scared of everything, told ya i m a coward...

and u think i take things easily..? nth particularly dat i care..? not dat i don care.. i just dunno wut i shud do.. i cant think much.. dats y i ran away from problems.. dats y u tot i nvr care abt anything.... dats y i m struggling now, forcing myself to face my problems...

 

don leave any comment for this one if anyone seen it... don even mention abt it.... i wasnt goin to post this initially... i dunno y..    

Jul 28, 2007

arghhh, pressure ah, i really regret la...

even though so tired, i still come here, i still wanna blog.... coz i wanna say out loud : " I HATE WORKING!!!!!!! "

 

today is my 1st day of work, emm.. or training, 1st time working.... and i regretted for started working now, haha... 

my 1st job, check outs in IGA.... working 4hours today, standing there scanning items, saying: "hi how r u" to every customers... sounds easy.. but nah, not until i did it, i finally realise i m actually an idiot, or my dad says is "price idiot"... i keep making mistakes, press the wrong buttons .... getting wrong change, and so on.. is just such a bad day.. i feel like crying.. seriously, i started to appreciate those days being able to sit in front of comp on9 whole day, watching tv, eating and sleeping, and beside all dat just studying.. which i don really like it but i rather study now if compare to working... is not just tired, but i afraid i wont be able to do it, i m really an idiot!!!!!!! gotta learn how to work and study at the same time, i really scared i cant do it.... just feels like quiting the job now... haih.... need $$$ to go back malaysia, so wut can i do..?

 

ps: change the colour of text now... looks bit betta? i think last time dat orange kinda too bright and hard to read...  

Jul 27, 2007

omg u spot me!

now i regretted for establishing my new blog site, i think i rather stay here, but i cant just state that in my blogger site:

" sorry for causing troubles... owner of current blog decides to close down the page, any complaints will not be accepted, readers shud be informed dat this new blog site is actually..... a hoax..... deepest apology from owner... ~end~ " 

after a while can c garbage being thrown towards celine...... oh!!! she ran away! dat coward!

 

hahahaha, my god, really hope no one will c this, i guess i m just too lame and too bored.. is my life wut do u expect?! haha, plus a little maniac for talking to myself in my blog... wahahaha...

btw, y do i stop here, not like i am passing by again, after start using blogger i start to dislike it, reasons... being dat... is just aint my style la, i dunno how to describe, even though blogging in msn space might be kinda inpopular, but i just enjoys it, hehe... alrite, like i said any complaints will not be accepted coz i already decided... btw msn spaces did updated and plus some new functions in, but i haven explore it, nth to worry abt since i will be continuing in here from now on, sorry for neglecting "u" for the last few weeks... haha..

 

the intro is too long le, i initially wanna blog abt something else but end up like dis, hmmm actually dats not something really interesting so if i remember then i post it in next time.. (but i nvr did.. haha remember i stil owe one post abt the malaysia trip..). anyway, abt the "those and these days", i will still leave it, blogging some here and there.. haha sorry for ppl dat read my blog, not intend for dat... k, dats all for this.. if anyone c this really sorry abt dat... gomenasai... paiseh paiseh...   

Jul 23, 2007

pass by..

surprise me, msn space changes a lot, unexpected... is quite cool now with the graphics..

i was working on econs assignment, haha so much to do but i oni have one day left... (still have mood to laugh.. haha if not shud i cry?)... gets bit tired, so come to visit my "old home", actually i still prefer msn space somehow... for some reasons, it gives me a kind of feeling... "亲切感" i dunno how to say dat in english, swt my english still bad...

in here i can blog more freely, not dat i cant in the other blog, just wonder y theres a different between them, i cant actually tell, is all just by a feeling, just i feel i m being myself in here rather than in the other... as if thers nth to hide in here, but the other one gives me pressure, i think mayb most of the others blogging in blogger, and my new established bloggy looks too simple in front of them... no... i dunno wut i m talking abt now... don i always hope someone notice my blog?... hmmmm... no idea, ignore my craps if someone spot this..(will there be any?)

i really running out of time now, but still don feel like doin it, faint~ just by looking at those figures, i really wanna run away from all of these... ahh, fine.. i know is my fault for not spending my holiday in a gd way, i just cant help, feel so ashame, can i ask for more?? dream on!

 

hope dat i have time to sleep tonite... 

Jul 12, 2007

moving!

attention ladies and gentlemen if theres any! (haha)

 

my bloggy officially "moving house" today

from now on will be writting blog in this new one  

 

click here! tekan sini! 点击这里! "those and these days"

 

come and visit me sometimes ok.. haha, c u there..

Jul 8, 2007

holiday!

these few days, the begining of holiday.. i say i m goin to get a job.. i say i m goin to study.. i say i m goin to... do all these, and i will do it!

 

mayb.. haha

 

i try my best la ok   

 

(excuse)

 

wut la! i will try ok, seriously!!

 

Jul 4, 2007

错了再错 - 张栋梁

new song in my bloggy ~错了再错~ by 张栋梁 two thumbs up for this one!! best song of dong liang eva!

  

hope everyone enjoys it :P

 

错了再错 - 张栋梁

 

退到了绝境再退,破碎到不能破碎
那么为什么 你就不肯说 我只能猜一切都错
泪水灌溉这伤悲 绝望是你赐给的安慰
为何你说慌 我却受惩罚
你不如就用刀刺下
我可以痛了再痛 你可以错了再错
不甘心 不闪躲 只为那失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火 你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破

爱和痛彼此纠结 悲和我无法分解
厌倦的疲累 成了一片黑
像空洞已无法消灭
泪水滋润着泪水 背叛是你另一种慰藉
完美的借口 泪无辜留下 你不如用乱箭射吧

我可以痛了再痛 你可以错了再错
不甘心 不闪躲 只为那失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火 你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破

即使我头也不回 这悲剧猛向我追
情愿你全部摧毁 别留着燎原的火堆
给你的自由将我吞没 给我的爱像一根绳索
你放手却困住了我
我可以痛了再痛 你可以错了再错
不甘心 不闪躲 全为了失真的承诺
我转身让你玩着火 你存心用尽我宽容
为什么连谎言你也刺破
为什么 连谎言你也不说

 

Jun 30, 2007

last week...

i m writting this post, in the very morning, and i haven brush my teeth or change my cloths yet, still in pajamas, haha... last post till now 6 days oledi, and i think i shud write some stuffs, but nth interesting recently...  lets make a summary for my whole week haha

~on mon~

 nth much, i cant remember as well haha .. skip!

 

~tues~

this one i know, dat day i wag school to charlies (is a hospital haha) , coz follow up for my health condition, i tot is goin to be a long day so i rather skip whole day of school, then i reached charlies in the morning, 9.10am... and tmd, all de doc did to me is asking: " hows it goin? everything fine?" and all the craps.. and if i answer yea i m totally fine.. just abt it! the whole session not even 5 minutes, and next day will receive the invoice ask u to pay de 100 bucks consultation fee.. ridiculous! anyway, of coz, we realise how expensive is dat, so i said: " sometimes i did find my breathing quite difficult, and short of breath, keep coughing non stop... haha, not so exagerate la, but he seriously din did much to me, i still expect to have blood test, but afterall he gimme a letter ask me to do the blood test somewhere b4 next appointment.. so phew~ at least din get needle dat day.. but the time i spent in hospital not even 30 minutes, and i wag school whole day.. haha

 

~wed~

vaccination! lucky dat day b4 din get jab if not jab again on wed... suffer~~ the vaccination for cervical cancer, is a new vaccine, my bro said we r 1st batch in aus getting this vaccine, yea last yr they din have it, so wut r we?! guinea pigs? haha, anyway betta than nth... this is the 2nd round, the 1st round was emmm b4 exam, i din wrote abt it. nth much, just dis time hurtz more than last round, geez, i wonder if the nurse just simply poke in , and got a dot visible in my left arm, last round don have it.... swt =__="

 

~thurs~

basically nth oso in thurs, the most is having a test in the last period, but i know i screw up... all de answer terbalik from wut i wrote, haih, now just hope for a pass, lucky angeline, coz her answer terbalik of my answer, so she was right and i wrong, ahhhh.. ok quit dat test thing.. back from school two person argue ova my stuffs, but oso not so gd to write the details in here.... anyway after the argue, i was force to handle my stuffs myself, haha, swt again~

 

~fri~

which was yesterday, fri always a gd day, can on9 till late nite haha.. start from school 1st, emm morning during chem, few persons from class got chosen for a chem tutor by this teacher call beverage (haha, funny name), and i m one of the "lucky" ones, coz they pick ppl in a-b cut off and c-b cut off, i knew i was gonna be picked, i m a-b cut off.. swt.... not i don wan tutor, and is cheap oni 10 for 10 weeks tution, but the tutor is mr beverage.... he is a gd teacher, but scary being in his class, last time experienced once oledi, he keep asking questions, haha, get so tense for whole period.. but i have to admit he really teach well.. very pro haha.. den the rest of the school time, nth worth writting, just recess dat time, ppl get so wu liao sticking sticker behind ea other back, haha..

at nite... chatting wif old frens, makes me miss malaysia, afterall is my home, haha, perth is my another home la, i m not sided to any, haha.... so will i go back malaysia this yr.......... dunno hehe, i hope i can.....

 

~sat~

i m still in the begining of the day wearing pajamas typing this haha... dats all i guess..... too long, no one will bother reading it haha..   

Jun 24, 2007

wretch...? the so called "wu ming" xiao zhan..haha

randomly surfing on 9, just realise many of my favorite singers actually write blogs in the site call "wretch".. sumthing, in chinese is wu ming xiao zhan, so many famous singer or actor using this site, and still call "wu ming"!! shud change the name seriously...haha... i spot fish leong and zhang zhi chen bloggy in it, and of coz, nic teo's!!!! oso in this wretch thingy, nah now he moves to another site call pixnet... haha... so happy, he is so adorable!!! i know i cant help expressing it, too fancy of him haha.. 

after scanning their bloggy, just feels like these "famous" ppl aint as high class or special as i usually thought, i mean their lifestyle, kinda towards ordinary.....emm i dunno wut i m talking abt now, not ordinary, but emm...... errrrr...... haha... i dunno le, just aint wut i use to think they r *blur~~, but nice getting know their life, feels closer to them.. hehe 

Jun 15, 2007

be prepared

results back!! well overall isnt as bad as i expected..~relieve..hehe.. emm just applic really got an unexpected results, i know i gonna do bad, but i still hope for higher... impossible la..

still average of my marks.. a B, ahh not enuf to get me into vet... expect higher... dunno how others manage to did it.. able to get so high marks... envy envy... haih might be me dat is too stupid to be compare with.. and on mon, the worst results i m gonna get, hope nvr get to c it, aikss, y m i so coward, face the fact!! ........ fine, i give up.... scare to see wuts on mon... quit thinking abt it anymore!.. for now..

Jun 13, 2007

smile pasta

everytime, after finish watching a gd series or gd movies, or gd actors acting, the impression left is always so strong. exams finish, these few days i spend all my days watching smile pasta, continue wut i haven watch in malaysia...

i know smile pasta is consider old series now, but really like it.. dunno y eh, the series isnt dat gd, in terms of the plot, a bit like full house in korean, and i oso prefer full house to smile pasta.. just smile pasta attracts me more than full house.. mainly becoz of nic teo!!

since watching smile pasta, kinda falls in love on nic, haha.. he is err handsome (wut i think), and dunno y just got attracted.. and seriously, he might be the 1st singer or actor dat considered as my idol who i really admire, haha.. he has got this kind of power dat draws me into the series, dats y i really enjoy watching it... and addicted now.

and his new song, wang zi, very nice eh!! watched the MV, he change a hairstyle, and makes him really has dat "prince" feeling, prince charming haha...looks so cool in the MV.. like both his hairstyle in smile pasta and this one..

talk too much abt him.. but after exam makes me so down for a sudden, so puts my attention on watching series and stop thinking abt it for a while... until fri..ahhh

 

Jun 12, 2007

haih...

finally finish exams........ 3 days left for me to relax, on9, sleep, and at the same time laughing at others dat still have other exams to "enjoy", hahaha, so sui leh me.. but the results....... nah...don wanna think abt it now.. heartaching everytime tot of it, ahhh, hurt again..haih..

kinda feels bit hopeless....

....disappoint.... haih....

dis yr results, mean a lot to me, if i still cant get at least 90 TER, haih.... *speechless*. others.. keep saying dat:" u repeat a yr, everything shud be very easy, definitely getting gd marks..."

 

.........

 

and wut if i dont...?

 

even myself also believe dat i wud, i can, i tot so, shud be very easy, and wut if i cant..... i don wanna imagine dat, but i think..... this may slowly...very soon become a fact.. then wut shud i do? no one wud understand how much pressure i face, no one wud see, coz i don wanna show it, or even i don dare to face it....

always show others... nth particularly dat i really care, and i always tot being unserious to everything, makes me less burden, forget abt sadness, anger very easily, escape from everything, becoz i don dare to face them.. and i know in the end.. the wound is still there, when i touch it again, i hurt even more, even deep...haih..

 

still i cant help myself.... 

Jun 8, 2007

"........"

i realise whenever i m in extreme mood, sad and angry, i wan to bite something....

and these few days, i added something to my arm, my tooth markings....

anyway, very shallow, now gone adi...

haih, really dunno how to continue this blog, and i still feel like i wan to add more stuff to my arms...

nah, sounds so bian tai.... but i dunno how to release my sadness, anger, disappointment..

.......

Jun 1, 2007

gambateh!!

time pass really fast, cant believe now is already mid yr, well almost mid yr..... 5 months later is TEE exam, 5 days later is semester 1 exam..... haih....... i know this begining of blog is very boring, almost every student feels the same like me, just cant help expressing it, haha.

today, plan to study calculus, then gets bit slack so i on9 for a while (hehe, "a while"), open my mail box, one comment from jonathan in frenster....

yesterday he said something abt illusion, wonder wut illusion, and others said if receive betta delete the comment, so i tot is some kind of crap jokes comment. then today morning i receive the comment, so i open it...........

i know y others told me to delete it, and i shud have listen to them but i din, then i know i kena!

lucky is not virus, anyway i sent a comment to scold jono already, haha..

if wan to know wut illusion it is, anyone dat c this blog, can try go to my frenster profile and check the comment by jono "optical illusion", great illusion in fact, and my advise is don bother opening it.... if still wan to open then is ur problem lo. 

and then now gotta study, jia you!!!! 

May 26, 2007

my existance

sometimes i know, ppl dat don like me more than ppl dat like me..........

ppl i wan to get to know more don wan to know more abt me..........

wut an invisible man lack off (not clothes), is the existance.........

wut so great abt knowing everything abt others, if others don even wanna know anything abt u, as if not existing......

the greatest distance in the world, i m standing right in front of u, but u can neva c me...

 

even though i m not invisible, but wuts de different..

May 21, 2007

my obsession to 珊瑚海

now added a windows media player into my space, cant c the title from the display, so actually this song is shan hu hai by jay and lara.

i think everyone know wut song it is when u heard it...haha, y put a song so common...? i was actually gonna put wu yue tian by SHE, but then end up to be shan hu hai.

dunno y it end up like this, i got a list of songs in mind dat i wan to put, and have to pick one, even though all so nice. jays have many nice songs, shan hu hai considered one of my favourite song from him, and also one of the song dat i nvr get how to sing. 1st time hearing jays november chopin album, i already "fall in love" wif shan hu hai, haha ("love" at the 1st "hearing"), keep listening and will nvr get bored, unlike some songs like ye qu or fa ru xue. lara voice is gd, though really no ideas who she is and din get to find out abt her haha.

wut i think is shan hu hai, really really really hard to sing.....emm it can be very easy, but just gotta listen carefully how they manage to sing it.

(i actually try to analyse how they sing it...haha). lara part is ok for me, as in the chorus she din need to sing "main tune" emm dunno how to say, coz lara is actually singing the 和声.....err dunno wut it is call in english, so the key is not so high (try listen to lara in chorus carefully). as for jay in chorus, i cant make it no matter how hard i try, mayb guys can do it, but i really cant, or there shud be a technic in singing dat part just i din realise. the key is really too high for me, or mayb for gurls. i think jay oso struggling in singing dat part, can hear him screaming all de way:

 

" hai niAO gen yu xiiANG AIIIIIII !!!!"

"........wo men DE AIIIIIII !!!!!"

"CHA YI yi zhi CUN ZAIIIII !!!!!"

 

and during malaysia trip dat time, the 1st saturday when we have a gathering in pyramid red box......still remember i sing shan hu hai together wif chung keat, haha, dat time really having a gd time, 1st time able to sing shan hu hai, completely!! of coz i oni sing lara part, and chung keat voice is gd dats y, able to cope wif jays high key tune. dunno how other think abt my "performance" dat time, haha.... but i m so proud of myself, lol....

i din know i can talk so much abt shan hu hai, haha, so many meaning behind it, and really love dat song, very much!!

May 19, 2007

omg, i cant believe this!!

saw this from some random gal's blog

 

anyone who c this gotta try doin the test below :

 


 

anyway is in chinese. and my result is:

 

 

鑑定結果


您的精神年齡38歲

與您實際年齡差21歲


幼稚度56%


成熟度61%


老化度53%

omg, how shock !! m i dat old?!!


 

May 18, 2007

~~~ha chiu!! ~~sneeze sneeze...

感冒了~~~

天气突然转凉,身体都适应不了....

讨厌ahhh!!!

最讨厌生病了!! 也许还有阴影gua, 可是我更讨厌吃药!

hem hem hem hem hem hem hem..........sneeze.................

tomolo 1st time hanging out wif my current yr 12 mates, still gotta sing karaoke eh, now my voice become so manly, haih, wut can i do.....

long time din sing d, last experience of ktv...... in utopia wif my family hahaha....dat time not as fun as malaysia experience, cant forget the 7 hours continuously singing in red box, haha, but hell expensive, nvr wanna visit red box anymore.

y suddenly skip to karaoke when i m actually talking abt flu, from chinese to english mode also lol. weather changes a lot, now...hmmm....not mistaken shud be mid autumn, not even winter!! and i m wearing like eskimo everyday!! and having flu, hate it la!!! y always me got sick?!! look at my nose now, swells up like 猪鼻.

hem hem hem hem, ha chiu~~~sneeze~~

pi pa ko wont work, in fact it dosent work at all, shud go sue the company. and nvr ask me to take medicine, the reason y i don like being sick is becoz i don like taking medicine, seriously hate it!!!!!

May 7, 2007

little accident

something happen in chemistry today

we r having lab, well normal titration, last yr oso did it already, is redox titration and dat stupid oxalic acids always get brown...

don wanna talk very details abt wut chemical dat is involve

(but still have to talk abt it somehow haha)

so heating oxalic acids, wif sulfuric acids in.....

then use a, emm wut do u call dat thing.... a thong like holder, to hold the conical flask wif acids, titrate under permanganate, i in charge wif swirling the flask and angeline with the tap.

1st try, turn brown...

2nd try, my skin turn red, haha.

so acids was heated, prepare to be titrated, i hold the "thong" wif acids, swirling...

after a while.....haven change colour...keep swirling

still haven change, keep swirling.....myhands start to feels tired

and then....

 

"pling plang"

"ahhhhh (screamed by angeline)"

"......"

 

the conical flask slipped of the thong, chemical spilled on my hand, i too shocked to scream, my hand turn red, but i feels nth...

dunno wut to do at the moment, then wash it, still don feels anything. everyone else r like looking at me, i 1st time feels so "attractive" haha.

overall just bit burnt, lucky chemicals are really diluted... so my hand don end up be skeleton, haha too exagerating

mr rutkay gimme ice to cool down, but nurse says i m not suppose to put ice while got burnt, and the reasons... i know it already but don wanna write it here..hehe

just everyone gets too "da jing xiao guai", and oso "you jing wu xian" here, ~relieved, end of my story

by the way dis yr balls photos looks real gd eh...pretties and handsomes, just i m not in it haha

 

May 4, 2007

miss again

fri nite, school ball, 99.9% of lynwood yr 12s shud be in ball rite now...

then y am i at home wrtting this blog....

coz i m the 0.1% dat din go to ball

miss 2 yrs of balls, nvm la, plus i m not the type dat use to this kind of situations, i m not da socialise kind.

have fun everyone, too lazy to continue...zzzzzz

Apr 29, 2007

little bit abt myself..


switch back to to english mode, very marfan to type chinese, even though i really wanna type chinese, wait till i have the program 1st la.

yesterday play basketball with my bros, dunno y always lose, ppl dat team wif me wil nvr wins, but anyways just a game so don wanna sounds so serious abt it. not so gd in skills, plus the rest r guys, cant expect me to win them. all i can do in the court is just snatching ball from others, only thing i m quite gd in it hehe. too bad always lost the ball when ppl pass to me, and cant even shoot, no matter how well my position is. wuts wrong wif de ball, always oppose my will, dunno issit the prob wif my fingers, butter fingers? mayb my hand too smooth, cant hold the ball, or just de ball don like me, haha, crazy liao..

so basketball really not my type, cant even run much, after a while started to feel exhausting, breath taking in hurt my throat ...or lung?? somewhere in between... too streneous for me, i m not sporty enough.....   

prefer badminton, considered my favourite sport, and the best sport i can play, still too bad compare to others. no court in my house, so just plain playing, with no net in between, and not indoor, lucky my house got a back yard dats large enough. too bad winds blowing sometimes and shuttlecock always fly to the roof, how many up there i cant remember, sometimes when winds blows again the shuttlecock falls from roof back to ground. badminton is fun, but becoz playing in the back yard that suppose to be grassy, due to long term of badminton activities on it, all the grass are killed (most of it), now my back yard becomes botak, kill the scenery, just becoz of badminton...... 

 

(start mourning for all the grass that sacrifice themselves for our entertainment)

 

~3 minutes later~

 

continue.... now.....one week after school open, nth interesting in school, so don wanna talk abt it, and then next fri, school ball, again i din go, miss 2 balls already but don care la. wonder y i m so anti-social, always isolated from others, not i want to be like dat, like i said i don like it at all, haihh. school ball dat case, many ppl ask me y not go, i actually don know how to answer, money is a matter, but the overall reason r not money..haih. mayb just like Mr Bani said, don wanna go coz i have no frens, so am i really like dat? don wanna admit it, but i know i m, haha, cry.....好可悲. don think till so depth la, mayb situation is not as bad as i thought.... emmm if anyone c this.... don think anyone will c this ba. hehe, i do treat everyone as frens, mayb i din express it, but dunno abt wut others think, dats another matter. 

and finally learn to apreaciate frenships, thx for all my malaysia mates and last yr lynwood school mates dat accompany me till now, eventhough not always c u guys, but will nvr forgets u all de.   

 

 

Apr 24, 2007

y not dream? hehe.....

haven been to my blog for so long, dunno wut to write annymore...

so school started again, nth much really, lots of tests popping up, but don care la, hahahaha... schools life are as usual, once again, really really really hope highschool faster end, but still no ideas wut to do actually after dat. last time use to tell others i wanna do veterinarian, though my parents don really like it, i still hold a strong will to do it, and dats y i repeat yr 12. but now just a bit doubted, whether doing vet is a right choice, i like animals, but even not doing vets can also shows dat i m an animal lover, hehe.... so when think a bit deeper...... mayb vet not very suitable for me, and also think myself not being responsible enough (dats really true).

 

a bit giving up now haha....

 

then wut abt the one yr u r repeating now?

 

...................

!!!!!!!!

(sigh)

 

wut u gonna do now, u dunoo! u idiot! don keep thinking abt something that will not happen! clear now? wake up, celine!

 

i m awake, but i wish to dream......

not real, but .....enjoy dat feeling

not sure, but........ at least i m hoping

hoping for some miracles.......

 

haha, i don think anyone wud understand wuts going on in the last part, anyway actually the last part not very link to the first part, but also a bit make sense if reads carefully....

 

finally i know is a bit stupid..... but i just like to dream, hehe :)

Mar 31, 2007

no name for this topic

events coming up soon and after:

1. 12 midnite today, 1st of april, the april fool day, and leslie zhang guo rong rise to heaven day, and also sean bday, wah, nvr know tomlo is    so meaningful.

2. next tuesday, time for medical check up, gotta back to the place, full of sad memories, but think of positive, definitely will be gd news!

3. last but not least, next thursday, the begining of holiday...... 

 

the reason of letting the last sentence ends with "........" but not "!!!!", dunno y, my 1st time not looking forward for holiday, but anyway also don really like going to school as well, just crap..

hope for something, a change in my current life, normally i wud not say dat, but now really hope for a little changes.

don wan to be so quiet anymore in school

don wan to be so slack anymore

don wan to just be a freak dat only on9 and play games during holiday

don wan to live in life dats so meaningless

i just wan to live a little happier and betta....

 

y say until i m so down mood, actually a bit, and still dunno wut i really wan. getting bored of playing games, don really like studies, and something happen today dat just makes even hate to speak. y always sumthing i said is wrong, i hate talking cuz i know i cant win, i don have the technic ok! i don like to argue, no one likes to argue! y just makes me feels like i m useless, i m just a piece of crap! so don say y everytime u talking to me i don answer, cuz i dunno wut to answer, i m not mute, but sometimes i really wanna be mute, at least i have the right to not answer. u just makes me hate talking! becuz i dunno how to say in the way u wan me to say! i just cant and dunno how to answer, and then let u think i m stuck-up, don simply comment on others, if ppl don talk to u u say they r stuck-up, wut kind of bullshit is dat, stereotype freak!

gone a bit out of topic, but feeling a bit betta now haha.  

 

Mar 25, 2007

Jia You!!!!! Aka Aka Fighting!!!!

m i getting lazy?

since tony boy and sean back already wif all the games and mangas, get distracted, canoot be so slack anymore, but hard to resist, ahhhh wut shud i do??!!!

try, try, no matter wut jia you, celine!! u can do it de!! but when in de school dat time always see the smarties dat so hard working eventhough dey already so smart, really gets this kind of pressure, feels very incompetitive, feels like falling behind, how can dat happen! celine! u can not let urself back to those hibernate seasons! no not anymore!!

ok.....but still....... erghhh!!

just jia you la!!

 

btw, day light savings ova??!! is it really true??!! den got one hour extra, if not tomolo go to school one hour late, how embarrassing, haha, hope really ova.....haha, can sleep bit later now..

Mar 16, 2007

arghhhh SHITZ WUT THE HELL!!!!! DAM U !!!!!!

today really piss me off!

lost my mobile in school......y wud this happen...cant remember puttin it somewhere. or just some bustard steal it...

no one answering when i call, no where in the house...arghhhhh, if really got stolen by someone...dam u!!!!!!

my only mobile, my very 1st new mobile, just gone like dat, i feels like idiot dat always get things lost....last time my wallet got stolen this time my mobile.....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

curse dat bustard dat steal my mobile, curse u!!!!!! really piss off!!!! so angry and yet heartache, arghhh

 

 

no mood to continue, haizzzz....

Mar 9, 2007

mayb.....i just dunno wut to say.....

crappy curvy is no longer crappy anymore.....hehe, really started to feel like....talking is .....so hard...sometimes.....*sigh* would it ends?....

haven actually says abt my school days, actually....everything is fine de...just....

i mean 1st day in school dat time theres 2 classmates dat spoke to me...very happy dat time since i m kinda "new"...

though still in same highschool, but everything just so strange to me, as if the 1st time stepping to it, as if....feeling...kinda...so lonely

i got this feeling.....its been a long time, and now this feeling is back, really...don like it at all...sour and bitter and also empty.....

 

remember last time this feeling 1st appear to me is during standard 6 primary..... long time and its back again...., same situation i guess, though i keep telling myself u cant return to dat time, this feeling is only illusion, after a while......just a while ....it will ova.... but i guess....haha...i m just deceiving myself...it is not as strong as standard 6 dat time, but really don like it at all......not even a bit....

 

and sometimes oso tell myself is just a feeling, if it don goes off den just cope wif it, slowly will use to it......if it is dat easy....

talking is easy...but now it seems to be so difficult...i dunno y....

 

or i just dunno wut to say......i really don wan to return to standard 6 dat time.....not anymore...when i so hard only find my way out......y this feeling is back again.......................................?

Mar 6, 2007

talk or blog

i tend to write a lot in my blog, so much to says but din says it out, so i write in blog.

 

something wans to tell others but din dare to, cuz always so concern whether sumting i said or sumthing i did will offence anyone or not, and really have dat experience long ago dat offenced someone, so since dat day not very much talking, or actually don dare to talk.

den slowly started to talk much and sometimes become quite talkative now, haha, but still don really dare to says out all i wan.

if anyone get offenced by me b4 i say sorry here even if u don wanna forgive me, but atleast hope u don come here and slash me wif a parang, if u really wanna do dat i would have to run away now.

 

hope no one will hate me up to this stage, haha. 

Mar 2, 2007

silence 深情密码

wan to write blog in chinese!!

but no chinese typing program...

so if i really wan to type chinese, i can oni use chinese google.

the point is i cant keep typing pin yin in google, then search, then copy and paste in order to write this blog....

haizz, den no point...

 

 


 

recently addicted to silence 深情密码, in malaysia dat time oso c tv is showing (8tv i guess) but din watch it, coz bought the dvds adi, wan to watch it when back to perth. 2nd day back to perth, started the series den cant stop liao, is too gd!!! too nice!!! zai zai is so cool!!! park eun hye is so pretty!!! and the love story is so touching!!!

but too bad oni me watching the series, guys wont appreaciate this kind of tragic love stories, and my mum is not here watching with me, haizzz. so everytime after school, 1st thing rush to the tv, put dvd in the player, jump to the sofa, put the tissue box besides me (eventhough not really crying, just sneezing), then play. and always feel so miserable after watching it, so i thought issit becoz of school?? but mayb wut makes me so sad these few days is the series, always after the series oni feels sad, haizz.

and today actually goin to watch last two episodes (in oni 1 week complete the series adi), but the stupid pirated DVD, last 2 cannot work!!!! ahhh!!! the end of the world!!! really, now i cannot c the last 2 episodes, i feel even more miserable.....

lucky lilyn got the series so can borrow from her....but gotta wait!! hope dat the ending is not bad 1, if not i really gonna smash the DVDs, chop it and burn it, and hate everyone in silence...muahahahaha...jk jk, gone crazy liao, anyway i don dare to do it, cuz gonna clean up later, and i really dun wanna hate zai zai and park eun hye, hehe, (even though u two waste all my precious tears )

 

but anyway, recommend this to others that haven watch it, really worth watching, at least i think this is the best love story i have eva watch, really touching!!!

Feb 25, 2007

NOT FAIR!!!!

not fair y guys can do all the things they wan but gurls cannot!!

NOT FAIRRRRRRR!!!!!!

not fair y i try to be independent but they don allow me to

is dat wut u mean by letting me be independent??!!!!

not fair y sumthing my little bro can but i cant do

NOT FAIRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

gimme a chance to proof dat i m worthy enuf to take care of myself!!!

not fair y u don even let me to try!

 

ps: eventhough this oni concerning a very small matter but discriminating female is a crime!!!

Feb 23, 2007

孤单南半球....

finally back to perth again, the 35 days of malaysia trip now officially ova. ahhh, too short, need more time......

hem hem, haven really have enuf fun, then force to come back, no point gotta study, promise dis yr will do my best!! no regrets!!!

MISS MALAYSIA!!! (not ms malaysia, i mean i miss malaysia), 1st time in my life i think my house in perth is actually very big, and......empty.

nth much to say abt my flight back to perth, just to thx all de frens dat send me regards, n nvr forget this trip to malaysia, malayisa is really cool, i finally realise dat.

so back to my home sweet home (not very sweet now), sit down and daydreaming for a while :"how m i gonna survive in this place". no results, so take a bath, then lilyn call. reunion on sat, hehe, tot i will nvr have chance to c all my frens agen, but anyway, don blame me coz i forgotten to buy anything for u guys (if any of u c this), especiallly esther, ahhhhh forgive me. at nite, carbonara spaghheti, taste gd, cooked by jeff, simple dinner, but with oni two of us, rather......empty...... (i miss my family...cry). then nth to do (eventhough i have luggage to pack, don care la), then go sleep, dat time is oni 9pm, coz last nite stay awake with theng (promise will not have another sleepova), and din slepp much on plane, damn tired.

then today, i really wanna cry, the house is so quiet, the noisiest sean and anthony r not here, for some reason i hope both of u r here, anyway gotta wait for 3 weeks later, n oso don think sean willl be back again. breakfast with oni pancakes!!! dunno wut else to eat, n the whole morning jeff is not around, left me with the house, nth to do so i blog.

feel so lonely, so lonely, mr lonely, i have nobody, all on my own...... hehe, if jeff c this i m gonna get hit, i m not trying to complain (although sounds like i m ), but emphasize this is oni the expression of my feeling, not complaints. anyway, started to think how did i survived in the past few yrs, mayb now i just need some time to adjust my mode, coz still in holiday mode. plus now having little flu, coughing, and block nose, ahh suffer, i wanna runaway...

alrite, whole day complaining, no, i mean expressing my feelings, still haven actually wrote anything abt malaysia, do dat next time in another topic la, now end of story.    

Jan 12, 2007

lifes being a cancer patient (part 2)

seriously, having cancer is so much betta than having chemotherapy. though is quite suffering b4 treeatment, not just constant coughing, and hard to sleep at nite(imagine can oni sleep in sitting position), but all these do not really matter, coz it does not makes her feel sick. the treatment that makes her feel sick, due to the side effects of the drugs that makes her nausea, feel like vommiting. a total of 12 treatments!!! thats equal having sick 12 times in 6 months, once every 2 weeks, now it balance back, coz she has not been sick for so many yrs, she believes this is wut we call "kharma", mayb is just not too fair to be healthy for so long. 

so the chemo is just like a drip, of coz the nurse must make a hole in somewhere on the body to let the drug flows in the body, how terrible it is to poke a hole once every 2 weeks just to make the drip. the health department realise how important this matter is, obviously they don wan to get sued by the patient, so they make a "brilliant" idea (dunno which "brilliant"person invented this "brilliant" product). they put this tube (which they call picc line) in to the blood vessel so the hole can stays there for a longer period. the gurl din realise how scary is this picc line b4 that, she thought is just like a normal needle jabbing and thats all, how naive, but is too late to worry now.

afterall, is just a little more than a needle jab, just that they also insert a line through the vessel on arm to the chest, the whole procedure is easy, but hurtzz! she din watch how the nurse do it, but the pain is really awful. 

 

nurse: "so here comes the stingy bit" (the needle pokes in)

gurl:   " (AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!)........"

nurse: " i m sorry sweet heart"

gurl:    " (yea, u gonna be real sorry!)  nah its ok....(kill me plz!!)

 

the line was in, and something on the arm to hold the line so it dosen pulls out easily, but it is rather robotic, the arm cant move freely and gotta wrap up everytime when showering, the place cant get wet no matter wut. the chemo goes on for 6 months, every tuesday become the "hospital day", no school obviously for tuesday and sometimes of the week. 

 

finally 12 chemos done, and her yr 12 ova too, anyway, the results is definitely disappointing, haiiz, no point gotta repeat a yr agen to do betta. gd news is the tumour was all cleared, pity that after all these she develop the so call "hospital phobia", due to this phobia she gotta reconsider the aim to study vet and become a doctor (veterinarian is oso a doctor evn though is bit differ).

afterall she is now living happily ever after.........(haha, who knows)

 

~the end~

 

for those who wonder who the gurl is, i tell u who she is is not important, just to tell others who has similar illness, not to give up!!!

the determination to keep this gurl doing all these, is actually the fear of death (is really scary), and for not disappointing those who support her and loved her. finally thanks to frens and family members of the gurl, all staffs in haematology deparment especially dr steve (though apparently he dosen do anything), the teachers in lynwood high and for anyone who helped and supported her.