struggle for existance

actually...

i have been refreshing this page again and again

i open and close the window again and again

i feels like i wanna write sumthing

but then i went blank again and again

my life's been boring, nvr change, is nver worth writting, not a single post in my blog dat is interesting

seriously haha, coz dats my life haha

fortunately i m free today, so i decided to on9

is been busy these few days

work plus school, i still havent get used to it...

but at the same time unfortunately today, when i start chatting to anyone, then the convo got suspended

haih, my connection problem..? or i just got ignored...?

hmmm, i think i wud rather believe the former one... 

so i decided to blog...

but i find nth betta to say... haha sorry la theng, thx for reading my boring blog!

so tomolo goin out with frens in aus, celebrate her 17th bday, and i havent got any presents, haha

guilty la...

i don think she will read this thing, so den can blog abt her haha...

this gal here, one of my closest fren in my yr...

anyway, sometimes still find gaps while talking to her, not just her, actually most ppl in here (school)

anyone find me quite mean in school? haha.. wut can i say... dats not me

is been quite a while, is not easy for ppl like me to join in a group...

i tried, think of anything i cud say, i wud say, but apparently it dosent work, haha..

or mayb shud i be isolated from everyone, completely? so rather saves the brainstorming for ideas to talk...

hmmm, but i know i cant..

i realise, i m scared being alone by myself, but yet i have difficulties to join in a group...

haih, so wut shud i say.... so sometimes i wonder did others hate me, dats y they wud rather ignore me..

"if others hate me, dat just makes me hate myself even more "

i guess i think too much, haha

and i oso outta topic haha

anyway dats all my problem, or mayb just wait till someday, things might get betta

i m waitin for dat day

"我不奢望, 可是我期待!"

let me know if u hate me ok? haha, oso let me know if u dont... thx lo..

 

PS: i know this is kinda stupid, i just wan to know who else is reading my blog, just leave a comment if u wud, i don mind if dont, just curious haha, even random ppl oso can.. nice to meet anyone