so long haven been updating this space, dunno wut to write anymore.
and TEE result finally out, as i expected, no gd, a bit disappoint, but since i have prepared for that. remember last time when PMR results were out, i was crying, though that time i get betta result than this time, and i cried, mayb my expectation was too high last time....no, don get it, that time i was going to laugh but end up crying, how embarrasing, very complicated emotion. one thing i learn now is to accept the fact, and well...
i know i m going to get no gd, din cry, since i have other ways, uni seems too high for me now, i have climb half way, but decided to take a rest, mayb is betta, coz i don wan to end up falling, take some time to think wut i really wan to do.
i was too lucky for this case, even though being sick, haha, get some advantage too, far too gd for me, more than fair (shud i thank for being sick?). but.......... i don wan anyone to think that i getting such results is becoz i m sick, no matter wut, i know myself getting lazy, slack, and don concentrate much. mayb there is no one to blame on, an accident? haha, i dunno. normally when things goes wrong and no one to blame on, i like to blame myself.
is my fault to not take care myself properly, and end up being sick, then missing school lessons, and finally get bad results in TEE.
thats y sometimes i hate myself, but then i realise, becoz i don like myself, so i din wan to make myself betta, then i hate agen, and i torture myself (haha, not so serious of coz), after all these happens, i learnt i need to love myself b4 anything else.
...........cant believe i m writting all these........
someone else get mad today abt the reults, the someone will nvr c this so i m safe to bitch behind his back (ahh, i have give a clue is a guy, he wont know anyway). i cant help him and dunno how to help, but since now he is not mad anymore then fine. he shuda be disappoint and shame himself instead of mad at ppl disappoint at him, anyway i don have rights to scold him, i shud feel disapoint at myself too.
but afterall is ova, cant do anything to change the results, just give some times to think agen and agen...
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