happy new yr for all...

2006 goin to be over in couple of hours.

hah............ hard to believe a year just pass so fast, mayb too slow for me, differ view for differ person, coz 2006 is the worst yr of me eva experienced. so much have happened, mostly bad things, and really.........hope nth worse than this in coming yr. is just like a dream, so much of unbelievables, 1st coming to perth, a place i neva even think of coming, then i did. another great change is lymphoma, although is not all ova, and when looking back the path i have gone through, still don believe how i actually manage to come through all these, as i said is just like a dream, a very long dream.

and today, new year's eve.........

so boring ah, stay at home writting blog, haha, yea, seems meaningless to me......

anyway, the real meaning is lives betta, whole new yr and whole new life. everything comes in cycle, theres end and theres beginning, and it will begin agen and ends agen, so my new yr's hope.........:

1. of coz the most important thing, hope everyone is healthy and contented

2. peace but full of excitements

3. earn more money$$$

4. improvements in everything

5. for the girls, become prettier, and for the guys, become much handsome

6. happily ever after

always ask for more, but just make 6 wishes at the moment. mayb last yr din make wishes thats y this yr is full of disasters.

hope all wishes will come true.

人生不如意之事十常八九...

so long haven been updating this space, dunno wut to write anymore.

and TEE result finally out, as i expected, no gd, a bit disappoint, but since i have prepared for that. remember last time when PMR results were out, i was crying, though that time i get betta result than this time, and i cried, mayb my expectation was too high last time....no, don get it, that time i was going to laugh but end up crying, how embarrasing, very complicated emotion. one thing i learn now is to accept the fact, and well...

i know i m going to get no gd, din cry, since i have other ways, uni seems too high for me now, i have climb half way, but decided to take a rest, mayb is betta, coz i don wan to end up falling, take some time to think wut i really wan to do.

i was too lucky for this case, even though being sick, haha, get some advantage too, far too gd for me, more than fair (shud i thank for being sick?). but.......... i don wan anyone to think that i getting such results is becoz i m sick, no matter wut, i know myself getting lazy, slack, and don concentrate much. mayb there is no one to blame on, an accident? haha, i dunno. normally when things goes wrong and no one to blame on, i like to blame myself.

is my fault to not take care myself properly, and end up being sick, then missing school lessons, and finally get bad results in TEE.

thats y sometimes i hate myself, but then i realise, becoz i don like myself, so i din wan to make myself betta, then i hate agen, and i torture myself (haha, not so serious of coz), after all these happens, i learnt i need to love myself b4 anything else.

...........cant believe i m writting all these........

 

someone else get mad today abt the reults, the someone will nvr c this so i m safe to bitch behind his back (ahh, i have give a clue is a guy, he wont know anyway). i cant help him and dunno how to help, but since now he is not mad anymore then fine. he shuda be disappoint and shame himself instead of mad at ppl disappoint at him, anyway i don have rights to scold him, i shud feel disapoint at myself too.

 

but afterall is ova, cant do anything to change the results, just give some times to think agen and agen...

 

chrismas in summer

christmas is near....everyday, tv, shopping complex, everywhere can hear christmas songs,

 "u betta watch out.....santa claus is coming to town....",

every yr same songs, but santa nvr did arrive in town, so they nvr change the songs till santa here.

though listen to it everyday, still don really know how to sing, don even know the song name, i m outdated.

pity australian have to pass christmas in summer, santa have to wear T-shirt and hot pants if he wants to come aus. too bad santa say:" i would need to shave my beard too!" then santa arrive that time no one would recognise him at all, the australian would only think he is some other old man, and pass by him without even saying hi. santa would be so disappoint if that happen, so he thought abt it and decide not to have vacation in aus, and so evry yr australian sing "santa claus is coming to town", hoping santa will come one day, and they know santa will nvr come too, so they hire few fat guys to pretend santa, and thats y christmas still exist in aus till today. 

 

the flies r joing the christmas party too. this is really one of the unexplain in perth (not sure if it happen to whole aus), winter that time all the flies gone, even no flies on rubbish, whole perth is so peace... when summer here, they r back, scary thing is so much of them, from nowhere. this yr summer is bit ok, last yr summer, wah.... flies everywhere, they not only on rubbish and food, they attack human! australia flies basically is harmless, they r cleaner but very much bigger, they r slow, but they r smart.. the flies will nvr gone in summer, no matter how much we hit. 1 down 50 more to go (abit exagerate), very reproductive, wut is even worse is they attck ppl face, c how smart they r, they go for face, nvm if is other body parts, but they pick face!! how important is our face!!

dunno heard from dunno who abt how australian got their accent, becoz the flies is flying all ova the face, so aussie have to talk quick and keep their mouth as close as possible (dunno if its true, but some aussie do talk in this way)  

rest in peace.. my frens and my enemies......

yesterday is a day worth celebrating!! 3 months of coughing, 6 months of treatments, 12 chemos, more than 10 times of vommiting in hospital, feeling nausea every 2 weeks............. finally...........OVER!!!! but anyways, one more pet scanning then if nth happens, i m no more the hodgkin lymphoma patient, i m no more a cancer patient, i m free of anymore suffering, i m....i m.... i m....."healthy" again .....haha.

phew, and finally the PICC line is taken out, my right arm is free now, no more wrapping when showering, i can swim now, i don care abt carrying heavy stuffs now (but i wouldnt wan to carry anyway).

but still dunno if "u" r dead yet, i hope "u" did, "u" r the enemies that i will nvr forget and FORGIVE! nvr eva come back again, my left lung is not ur territory anymore (and no other parts in my body). its been a long time but yet seems very short, the death of my comrades, millions of them, rest in peace....... sorry for sacrificing "u guys" especially my hair, but don worry is growing back, now.....just have to wear hat.

most importantly, thx to all my family and frens, and to all staffs in haematology department, millions of appreaciation for the supporting and helping during these 6months, its tough, but i have done it so far so gd, hehe. something that just makes me disappoint is the waste of 6 months studying, din pay much attention, and haizz, dunno wut to do now........

so yes, always remember 12 dec 2006, the year of 2006, dunno wuts wrong wif this yr, just the worst yr i have ever experienced, and wuts more this kind of shitzz happen in my last yr in highschool, such an important yr, @#$%$#^*&@#%$^%##@%^#$&%*%!!!!! 

now just cross my finger, 4th jan next yr, PET scan !! hope "U" r dead, no more in my body, flush down the toilet and send to make fertilisers, absorb by vegetables and eaten by someonelse (NOT ME!) so rest in peace, forever...... 

and until that day.........

who would expect after graduating highschool will end up to be even more complicated, haizzz... after TEE fisnished, list of events to be completed:

1. wait for TEE results to out (hopefully not as shit as i think)

2. wait till chemo finish (1 more to go!)

3. apply for uni, or maybe repeat yr 12

4. go back to malaysia

5. ...........WUT ELSE??!! SO MUCH TO THINK ABT AND ALL I WISH TO DO IS JUST SIT DOWN AND WAIT FOR THE SUN TO SET!!!!

*sigh.....* these few days been rushing to here and there, yesterday to school, the day before yesterday to murdoch, apply this and that, TEE result not out yet and i m still stuck in the middle, dunno where to go, ahhhh!! 1st thing 1st, uni seems to be a bit hopeless now to me, so still have a go nvm, then for yr12, discuss and have a go too, everything is just hanging, becoz results not out yet. most probably go for another yr 12, since is cheaper and easier to adapt, but problem is the timetable, stupid la really, no matter which way, i have to work harder than this yr, no more to enjoy. sean easier just wait for uni, i think he can get in curtin and plus 2nd intake, enjoy la hah!

stop think abt these shitzz, and talk abt malaysia. yesterday go to travel agencies and guess wut the date is set and haven book ticket yet. another complicated quesrion coz the time is not flexible, so much to thought abt, i have to wait till my chemo done and study stuff to settle then oni can go back, so by the time it will be around middle january next yr, and then flight back to perth around febuary, after chinese new yr. sean lucky la, 2nd intake can stay in malaysia longer till march, wut abt ns, stay bit longer then abdullah order the army to catch him to jungle, go eat banana wif orang utan, later miss the enrolment in uni. anyways, the date we shud be back if nth ..... happen (pray and pray, believe that kuan yin will hear me for the 1st time) is on 18 jan 07, 5 hours flight, evening to nite, wah, seriously, and finally! everytime going to airport here is just to send or welcome my dad, and watching the ppls coming in and out, always thought if one day i will be like them it would be so great, i know everyone of us except dad has this feeling, and now finally! yesterday we have been talking whole day wut to do in malyasia, 1st thing everyone thought of is eat! but cant blame us, we r tired of the same routine of butter bread everyday, back to malaysia 11pm at nite, of coz go supper la! satay, seafood, chee cheong fun, fried kuey tiew etc, and i think last thing we will be eating is panadol, eat too much till stomach explode.

hmmm, so wait till that day..........                 

sweet 16zz

i shuda start this earlier coz holiday is really bored. its been delay for two days since that day i wanna start but anyway.....

start from that day that i wanna start wif, 19 nov. oh is my bday and really i ve pass a really warm bday. morning that time got waken up by phone call from abi, and this started of the day, pretty funny actually i m joking abt the present thingy, plus she don even need to purposely come to my house to gimme present, paiseh paiseh, hehe..srry..

woke up, then nth to do and check mail, glad everyone still remember my bday and receive many messages, the day b4 oso, and very touch siao wah call me , too bad din talk much but thx!! by exact 12 at nite, lilyn call and receive message from theng theng(really miss everyone in malaysia). by 1am sumthing dad be the 1st in family to wish me happy bday(but he said is 12.30am, so we have been argue for a while).

back to the day, then mum dad and sean went sunday market, left me and anthony(i cant go anywhre since abi coming later, so i wait).

then abi came, with presents, thx for the choc(seems to be quite highclass) and the present!! later mum and dad bac with two gold colour bangles(not real gold of coz), not very nice but appreciate that, thx agen!

at nite.. steamboat time! dad baked two butter cakes himself, he said is betta to do own bday cake. we always like DIY, since that day 1st step in aus till now, coz buying stuffs in aus is really expensive, and aus is a country with rich resources, while less develop in manufacturing industry, so instead of buying cakes, we buy the flour, eggs, milk and butter to make cake ourselves. while baking butter cake, preparation for steamboat!! dad is gd this area, we make all the soup into tom yam(no one in our family wants to drink plain ikan bilis soup), then the ingredients, fish ball and vege fish ball, beef, prawn, lettuce, squid, sausages...etc. meanwhile jeff back from library(pharmacy students is really stress eh), and get going with the well baked butter cake(except little burn in the bottom), too plain with only butter flavour, so we search the fridge and lucky found some toblerone choc that dad bought 3-4 moths ago!!dunno if its expired but since i m still alive now so no problem. after frying the wonton(hoho, the wonton gal who made it!), cook the choc till it melts and spread it on top of the cake. still too plain.. sean added cashew nuts around for decoration and jeff later sprinkles some coconut floss(wuteva it is called). and so deng deng deng deng my bday cake done!

now the whole preparation was without anthony contribution, for some reason he has been playing runescape and become a santa that giving out toys b4 christmas. anyways, eating steamboat, now i know anthony biggest contribution is to prevent the rubbish bin becoming too full, coz he eaten all the extra food that we cant finish, potential sumo wrestler..

two unexpected guests visit us, lilyn and sandra and their families, and presents, thx thx!! unfortunately steamboat feast was finished.

so stay till around 9pm, cakes time!! lucky dad baked two cakes, so we added extra melt choc on top, some cashew nuts and dunno who added cornflakes on it, wow...r we short of ingredients??

my contribution to the cake, when the candles all lit and after ppl singing the old lame song, i have to put out all the candles fire so it wont cause any fire hazard, and my bday wont end up to be a big mass of ashes. make my wishes then blow the candle (i ensure my wishes won more 5 seconds) and cut the cake. everyone sharing the cakes, taste ...not bad, rate 80 out of 100, wah A adi, well done !!!

so here ends my bday, pretty warm, we took pic 2gether but haven upload it, do that next time and is 12 plus now, wah, mayb is too long.