wretch...? the so called "wu ming" xiao zhan..haha

randomly surfing on 9, just realise many of my favorite singers actually write blogs in the site call "wretch".. sumthing, in chinese is wu ming xiao zhan, so many famous singer or actor using this site, and still call "wu ming"!! shud change the name seriously...haha... i spot fish leong and zhang zhi chen bloggy in it, and of coz, nic teo's!!!! oso in this wretch thingy, nah now he moves to another site call pixnet... haha... so happy, he is so adorable!!! i know i cant help expressing it, too fancy of him haha.. 

after scanning their bloggy, just feels like these "famous" ppl aint as high class or special as i usually thought, i mean their lifestyle, kinda towards ordinary.....emm i dunno wut i m talking abt now, not ordinary, but emm...... errrrr...... haha... i dunno le, just aint wut i use to think they r *blur~~, but nice getting know their life, feels closer to them.. hehe 

be prepared

results back!! well overall isnt as bad as i expected..~relieve..hehe.. emm just applic really got an unexpected results, i know i gonna do bad, but i still hope for higher... impossible la..

still average of my marks.. a B, ahh not enuf to get me into vet... expect higher... dunno how others manage to did it.. able to get so high marks... envy envy... haih might be me dat is too stupid to be compare with.. and on mon, the worst results i m gonna get, hope nvr get to c it, aikss, y m i so coward, face the fact!! ........ fine, i give up.... scare to see wuts on mon... quit thinking abt it anymore!.. for now..

smile pasta

everytime, after finish watching a gd series or gd movies, or gd actors acting, the impression left is always so strong. exams finish, these few days i spend all my days watching smile pasta, continue wut i haven watch in malaysia...

i know smile pasta is consider old series now, but really like it.. dunno y eh, the series isnt dat gd, in terms of the plot, a bit like full house in korean, and i oso prefer full house to smile pasta.. just smile pasta attracts me more than full house.. mainly becoz of nic teo!!

since watching smile pasta, kinda falls in love on nic, haha.. he is err handsome (wut i think), and dunno y just got attracted.. and seriously, he might be the 1st singer or actor dat considered as my idol who i really admire, haha.. he has got this kind of power dat draws me into the series, dats y i really enjoy watching it... and addicted now.

and his new song, wang zi, very nice eh!! watched the MV, he change a hairstyle, and makes him really has dat "prince" feeling, prince charming haha...looks so cool in the MV.. like both his hairstyle in smile pasta and this one..

talk too much abt him.. but after exam makes me so down for a sudden, so puts my attention on watching series and stop thinking abt it for a while... until fri..ahhh

 

haih...

finally finish exams........ 3 days left for me to relax, on9, sleep, and at the same time laughing at others dat still have other exams to "enjoy", hahaha, so sui leh me.. but the results....... nah...don wanna think abt it now.. heartaching everytime tot of it, ahhh, hurt again..haih..

kinda feels bit hopeless....

....disappoint.... haih....

dis yr results, mean a lot to me, if i still cant get at least 90 TER, haih.... *speechless*. others.. keep saying dat:" u repeat a yr, everything shud be very easy, definitely getting gd marks..."

 

.........

 

and wut if i dont...?

 

even myself also believe dat i wud, i can, i tot so, shud be very easy, and wut if i cant..... i don wanna imagine dat, but i think..... this may slowly...very soon become a fact.. then wut shud i do? no one wud understand how much pressure i face, no one wud see, coz i don wanna show it, or even i don dare to face it....

always show others... nth particularly dat i really care, and i always tot being unserious to everything, makes me less burden, forget abt sadness, anger very easily, escape from everything, becoz i don dare to face them.. and i know in the end.. the wound is still there, when i touch it again, i hurt even more, even deep...haih..

 

still i cant help myself.... 

"........"

i realise whenever i m in extreme mood, sad and angry, i wan to bite something....

and these few days, i added something to my arm, my tooth markings....

anyway, very shallow, now gone adi...

haih, really dunno how to continue this blog, and i still feel like i wan to add more stuff to my arms...

nah, sounds so bian tai.... but i dunno how to release my sadness, anger, disappointment..

.......

gambateh!!

time pass really fast, cant believe now is already mid yr, well almost mid yr..... 5 months later is TEE exam, 5 days later is semester 1 exam..... haih....... i know this begining of blog is very boring, almost every student feels the same like me, just cant help expressing it, haha.

today, plan to study calculus, then gets bit slack so i on9 for a while (hehe, "a while"), open my mail box, one comment from jonathan in frenster....

yesterday he said something abt illusion, wonder wut illusion, and others said if receive betta delete the comment, so i tot is some kind of crap jokes comment. then today morning i receive the comment, so i open it...........

i know y others told me to delete it, and i shud have listen to them but i din, then i know i kena!

lucky is not virus, anyway i sent a comment to scold jono already, haha..

if wan to know wut illusion it is, anyone dat c this blog, can try go to my frenster profile and check the comment by jono "optical illusion", great illusion in fact, and my advise is don bother opening it.... if still wan to open then is ur problem lo. 

and then now gotta study, jia you!!!! 

my existance

sometimes i know, ppl dat don like me more than ppl dat like me..........

ppl i wan to get to know more don wan to know more abt me..........

wut an invisible man lack off (not clothes), is the existance.........

wut so great abt knowing everything abt others, if others don even wanna know anything abt u, as if not existing......

the greatest distance in the world, i m standing right in front of u, but u can neva c me...

 

even though i m not invisible, but wuts de different..